Friday, February 2, 2018

Remembering my sister Mary LaMont Richardson

Mary Elizabeth LaMont Richardson b. 1937 Atlanta, Georgia
d. 1991 Jamison, Alabama
Mary Elizabeth LaMont was born Feb. 2, 1937, in Atlanta, Georgia.
Her parents lived in a rented house in Ansley park, an old Atlanta neighborhood a few blocks off Peachtree Road and about two miles from downtown. She was named after her grandmothers.

Both parents were working. Her father Louis Ernest LaMont traveled for insurance companies as an auditor. Her mother Dorothy Strickland LaMont was a nurse at Piedmont Hospital where Mary was born.
She was the first child. Her Grandfather Fred Strickland lived with the family briefly. Grandmother Mary Barry LaMont came to visit from Montgomery and had their picture taken while sitting in a rocking chair made for the family in the 1800s. . Mary’s nearby family included numerous Barry cousins in Montgomery, her mother’s two sisters Sarah and Betty, and Strickland, Arrington and Looper cousins across North Georgia.


Atlanta was the booming center of the “New South,” Southern in character but more progressive. The novel “Gone With the Wind” had been published the previous year, written by a reporter for the Atlanta newspaper. Nostalgia and romanticism, tempered by concerns about war in Europe, were the order of the day.
By 1940 the family had moved to Decatur in the suburbs, to a small house owned by a family friend on the edge of the golf course belonging to the Atlanta Athletic Club.
Mary started kindergarten in Atlanta, but the family relocated in 1943 to Mobile, Alabama. Mobile, on the bay near the Gulf Coast, was an old seaport city. At the time they moved there World War Two was underway and the town was booming with military-related industries including ship-building.
Mary spent most of her public school days in Mobile. She attended Leinkauf Elementary School, a short walk from their rented duplex at 1214 Government
Street, then Barton Academy, and graduated from Murphy High School. During the middle years of elementary school her parents divorced, and later her mother remarried.
Mary was popular, a good student and active in a wide range of activities. She was a “maid of honor” in the Mardi Gras Court in
elementary school, a member
of the precision swim team and a cheerleader in high school. She joined a sorority and was active in the youth group at Dauphin Way Methodist Church.

The family owned one car when she was in high school, a huge pale yellow 1952 Packard. She learned to drive in the parking lot of Ladd football stadium, and on special occasions during her senior year she was allowed to drive the car to school — if she would give her brother a ride. Four years separated us, and we were not close friends until later.


Mary had a good time in high school. She made good grades without working too hard, was pretty, had a busy social life and was popular with the boys.
When she was about 17 she had a boyfriend she really liked a lot. Robert was a nice guy, well liked, but Mary’s father felt they were getting too serious. He was particularly concerned because Robert was a a Catholic, and the LaMont family had a long history as Protestants and the older members were somewhat suspicious of Catholics, a not uncommon prejudice in the South. He wrote Mary a very carefully worded letter in which he acknowledged Robert was a nice boy, but gave Mary a long-distance lecture on why being serious with a person of ““another faith would create problems if they ever decided to get married. In the 1950s Protestants who wanted to marry a Catholic had to join the Roman
Catholic Church and be a practicing member. Catholics were also expected too have large families. The discussion never got angry.
The matter was settled when graduation came in 1954, and they both went away to different colleges.
Mary graduated from Murphy High in 1954 and moved to Coral Gables, Florida, to live with her father and attend the University of Miami as a freshman. She liked Florida, the “rich Yankee boys” who went to school there and the university classes. She briefly joined a sorority, but dropped out when she discovered they blackballed Jewish girls.
During that year she attended college full time, kept house, took care of our ailing father and had a part
time job at a clothing store in Coral Gables.
Her father was in failing health so after the end of her Freshman year she quit college and the two of them moved back to Alabama.
He was no longer able to work, and Mary—then19 —wenttoworkin Montgomery and took care of her dying father throughout that Fall and Winter. It was a hard time. He
was in and out of the VA hospital. She changed jobs, briefly working as a sales clerk in a department store and at a
printing company. She ended up working for an insurance company at better pay and more hours.


Her father died in February 1957.
The day of his funeral cousin Dan Stanford brought his Auburn University roommate Roy Richardson with him to the house when he dropped by to pay his respects. They had been on a fishing trip, but Roy made a good impression, despite coming straight from camping.
Mary moved to a rooming house for working women, where she joked her roommate was “a Yankee girl,” but her life was about to change significantly.
She and Roy, who was still in college, started dating in that spring. They were engaged almost immediately.
Mary married Roy that summer on the August day he graduated from Auburn. It was a small family wedding held in the basement of a Methodist church in Auburn.
Roy went to work as a management trainee with the phone company and they moved to a small apartment in Birmingham. They immediately got a dog, named him Bo, and got into the young-married lifestyle of barbecues on weekends, watching football games (particularly Auburn). Roy took up golf. His job required frequent moves around
the state. In the next five years they lived in Decatur in North Alabama and in Anniston in Eastern Alabama, before moving back to
Birmingham.
During this time Mary and Roy, convinced by doctors they could not conceive children, adopted a boy, named him Ben, and then adopted a daughter named Beth.
Mary stayed home and took care of the children as Roy rose in the management ranks of the Southern Bell phone company. His job took them to a temporary assignment in New York City, and they moved to Berkeley Heights, N.J., outside New York City, in the early 1970s. It was the first time Mary had lived outside of the South. Much to their surprise, while in New Jersey Mary became pregnant and gave birth to a son, Philip.
Judging from her letters to me at the time, it was one of the happiest years of her life.
She wrote one 15 page letter on stationary she brought back from a cruise on the Queen Elizabeth 2 — she called it the “Q E 2” — full of details of life just after Philip’s difficult birth. She covered the details of Roy’s work, furniture needed for the new baby, and her six-week post partum medical exam, including details about a surgery planned “on my bottom.”
“If the doctor can convince me that I have a good chance of successful pregnancy next time I really want to have another baby. Philip will need a playmate and I’m too young to retire.”
She encouraged the possibilities of adoption to others, including her sister-in-law who had a back injury., She was all for adoption when people could not have a baby on their own. “The mixed racial child is the big thing here in N.J. but would not go over too well in North Florida.”
She bragged on her children: “Ben is up to my shoulder...and grows while I look at him. Books are his thing.” She described how he tried to like horses, but didn’t, and she gave him permission to stop riding lessons. “Beth loves horses and enjoys every minute of riding... I think she does real well for a five year old.”
And Beth was so eager to start school she woke everybody up at 4 a.m. the first day.
Philip, as the baby, got lots of attention. “The Rooster is the apple of everybody’s eye. The nurses from the hospital even call to see how he is doing.” He had been small and premature, but by then Mary wrote, “He’s fat and round, has square feet and sausage fingers.... He started smiling yesterday and it is beautiful.”
The family was completed with three
children, and when the New York
assignment ended they use the profits
from the suburban house in New Jersey
to by buy a house on a 85-acre ranch in
Chilton County, Alabama, halfway between
Montgomery and Birmingham. They were to become country folk.

Mary loved it. She settled in and ran the ranch, including cows and chickens and one pig named “HamFat,” while Roy commuted to jobs in Birmingham and elsewhere in Alabama.
The ranch had fenced pastures and woodlands. The house sat in the middle of a pasture, with great views all around. There was a small well house and a shed, and on the hill above the house was a large old barn and a garden.
Mary got into the farm life. She wore boots and jeans, joined the Alabama Cattlemen’s Association, and negotiated a deal with a neighbor to use the pasture, bale the hay and keep up the fences.
Her favorite aunt, Elizabeth Gill or “Aunt Betty,” moved to the closest town, Jemison. Mary kept her Birmingham city contacts, including going with friends to the symphony.
For a woman who had never lived outside a city, she reveled in country living, pickup trucks, and horses and cows.
Shortly after moving there she became active in the Episcopal Church in nearby Montevallo which served townspeople and students at the local University. That’s where their youngest child Philip was baptized. She eventually became a member of the vestry, and loved her little church and the formality of its services.
Life seemed idyllic, but it was not always easy. There were money problems, and the challenges of keeping up a large piece of property that did not generate any income. Roy worked long days, and when he was home he was almost always working somewhere on the ranch on his tractor, or drinking too much and parked in front of the television on football weekends. They saw less of each other, and began have disagreements about money and how to raise the children.
Mary was stubborn, and so was Roy.
By the early 80s Mary decided that because it had been left up to her, she would run the home and the children. Roy was absent a lot, so she started making independent decisions about the home and their finances that Roy did not always agree with. Her attitude was that if he was not there to help make decisions and do the work at home, he would have to accept it.
He was constantly spending week nights in Birmingham, whether for work or to play cards with friends, and they grew more and more estranged.
The marriage fell apart. They never really discussed all the reasons, but Roy moved out to an apartment in Birmingham and they divorced after 25 years. It was a hard time for everyone.
About this time Beth was in college at Auburn, Ben had finished high school but due to learning disabilities unable to hold a regular job, and Philip was just beginning high school.
It was a severe blow to Mary and everyone in the family, and something she never expected to happen. She struggled to hold things together. She agreed to accept the house and half the acreage as a full settlement in the divorce, giving up claims to Roy’s retirement and Social Security. That left her with no income.
But she knew how to work.
In the first year after the divorce she tried to make a living by increasing the house garden to almost an acre and selling produce through farmer’s markets in the area.
She used her quilting skills to make pillows and decorative items to sell through craft fairs and local stores, but it was never enough to live on.

She had some financial support from our mother who was retired in Atlanta, and close family nearby in Aunt Betty. Both older women doted on Mary, but also tried to give her advice she was not eager to hear. For a while she became isolated, trying to figure out how to survive, raise her children and hang onto the farm.
During this time her church in Montevallo became increasingly important to her, and she became more and more active in the leadership..
When Betty died shortly after the divorce Mary inherited her home and turned it into a small rental house. Money from the inheritance from Betty helped pay the bills for a short while.
Even in the hard financial times Mary believed people needed to have fun, so she would still put away enough for a trip to the symphony or a short vacation at the beach at Gulf Shores.
In the late 1980s she gave up on farming for a living and applied for a job in Clanton, managing a furniture store for the owners. She had never done anything like that before, but she was smart and worked hard and initially liked the job. It was a classic small-town furniture store, selling mostly to poor farm families and share croppers. One of her jobs was to collect monthly or even weekly payments from the poor people who could not afford any other way to buy furniture, after

working out a schedule and a price. She joked it was “a dollar down and a dollar
a week.”
Mary on the farm, her happy place
She stayed active in the church, and working at the furniture store even when the owners turned out to be difficult.
It took a while but she got over the shock of the divorce. She began to find new friends, even dated once or twice, and focused on helping her children get through school to adulthood.
Around late 1990 Mary decided the farm was too much to deal with. She liked Montevallo — it was a college town with an interesting population — and began exploring making a move. Beth was away in college. Philip was close to finishing high school, and it looked like Ben would need to live at home with her. The farm was too much work.
She found an attractive old Craftsman bungalow house near the edge of the college campus, arranged to sell the farm, and was in the process of buying and moving in to the Montevallo house when she died. The boxes were still being unpacked at the “new” house.

She was at work one day at the furniture store, walking away from a soft drink machine, when she collapsed.
She died instantly.

She was at a good point in her life, 54 years old and in control and seeing a better future for her family.
The cause was never known for sure. She had been seeing a doctor for cholesterol problems, and was a life-long smoker, but put off doing anything about it. She had too many other things to take care of.

The funeral service was held, with the High Episcopal service she had wanted, at her little church. She was buried next to her father in Montgomery in the family plot in Oakwood Cemetery.